Asia has gotten hold of the sandwich. and pizza. and pasta. and ice cream cones. and they don't know what to do with them.

With the economy in shambles and America's credibility diminishing more and more each day, we can find comfort in the fact that the momentum of the sandwich will keep us on the map. After two years of relentless searching, from Japan to Laos and back to the socialist state disguised as Vermont, we have done some serious research and discovered some amazing things.

Now to begin, we will turn to Seoul, where "fusion" food is ridiculously popular, churning out some diarrhea-inducing disasters as well as some peculiar creations that just might constitute a sandwich, and which definitely push the bounds of taste.

With no further ado... the pasta cone:





Whoa.

Eaten with hands, looks like a gyro or a burrito, not too messy, constitutes an entire meal.

For those of you who claim that a calzone is a sandwich, only to be outcast by the "but you eat it with utensils, it's messy, and it's fully enclosed" camp of what-is-a-sandwich enthusiasts, czech out the ultimate boundary-pusher. If I take the ingredients from a pizza and enclose them in a protective substance other than pizza dough, what are we left with?

The original product from this company was a cone filled with pasta, which we usually eat with a fork. But it's in a cone, which we usually eat with a dessert. The question for consideration here must be whether pasta can be the main ingredient in a sandwich. We here say, "why not," but for those of you who find this some sort of cop-out, please leave your comments for our experts' consideration.